Where do I start? A calm path to perinatal support

You don't need to be in crisis before you reach for support. Most people I meet have been carrying things quietly for months, telling themselves it will settle once the baby sleeps, once the milk comes in, once they get back to work.

If something feels heavy and you're not sure whether it's worth mentioning to anyone, here is a calm, ordered way to begin.

1. Put words to it

You don't need a diagnosis. A sentence is enough: I am not enjoying this, I am frightened a lot of the time, I feel nothing, I can't stop arguing with my partner, I can't get close to my baby. Saying it out loud to one person you trust is often the point where things start moving.

2. Book a GP appointment

Your GP is the practical gateway in Australia. Ask for a mental health assessment and a Mental Health Treatment Plan. With that plan you can access Medicare rebates for up to 10 individual sessions per calendar year with an appropriately qualified practitioner - usually 6 sessions first, then a review and re-referral for the remaining 4.

Bring the list from step 1. GPs are busy, and a written sentence or two keeps the appointment on track.

3. Choose someone who works with this season of life

"Perinatal" means the time from planning a pregnancy through the first year or two of parenthood. Not every practitioner works in that window. Worth asking directly:

• Do you work with parents in the perinatal period?
• Are you endorsed to work in mental health?
• Do you take Mental Health Treatment Plans?
• Is this telehealth, in person, or both?

An endorsed Mental Health Occupational Therapist such as myself looks at the whole texture of your days - sleep, feeding, household load, work, intimacy, supports - not only how you're feeling.

4. Start with a short, no-pressure conversation

A complimentary 30-minute 'do we fit?' session exists for exactly this moment. Nothing is committed and nothing is billed. You can ask questions, describe what's happening, and get a sense of whether the person in front of you is someone you could talk honestly to.

5. Know the practical things early

Asking about money and logistics up front removes a large share of the anxiety:

• Session fee: $230 for one hour. With a Mental Health Treatment Plan the Medicare rebate is $89.50, leaving a gap of $140.50.
• Sessions are delivered by secure video or phone, Australia-wide.
• Accounts are settled on the day of the appointment.
• If you need to cancel, 24 hours' notice is appreciated.

6. If it's more than worry

If you feel unsafe, or your baby is unsafe, this is a matter for urgent care rather than a fortnight's wait for an appointment. Call 000 or go to the nearest emergency department. For same-day talking and triage, PANDA on 1300 726 306 and Lifeline on 13 11 14 are both excellent.

A last word

Waiting is what most of us do. It feels responsible - the baby comes first. But support that arrives earlier is usually shorter, gentler and far less exhausting than support that arrives after you have run out of ways to hold it together.

If you'd like to talk about whether this is the right time, get in touch or email belinda@kokorowellbeing.au.